Monday, January 13, 2014

The Ups and Downs and All Arounds

I'll be honest. It hasn't been so great in my brain lately. It's not overwhelmingly bad, it's just that I'm stumbling. November was amazing in that I managed to write 50K new words in 30 days (about 25K of that in the last 4 days).

I can do it. I know I can, but why is it that I have written next to nothing since then?

Well, a couple things. There's beens ome personal stuff that I'm working on, but really it comes down to this.

I'm scared that what I'm writing is crap. It's a common fear and one that hits about the halfway mark in any novel writing process. Which, I have hit. And my brain is all wibbly wobbly.

I swear I've been writing the same scene for a month...which I probably have. Probably a time vortex or something. The truth of the matter is this: ALL FIRST DRAFTS SUCK. Why? It's because you are creating something from nothing and you can't fix it until it's been put down.

I've also gotten some amazing news (which I can't share with you because it's my penname and we don't talk about what he does here...also, I'm a tease).

On the flip side, I've gotten my second round of notes from my mentor and my plot in HJ still has problems. So, I called in the cavalry (my CP, my wife, and another friend) to help me figure it out because I'm banging my head against the wall.

Seriously. I'm too inside the story now. I've torn it apart and restructured it five different times. And as a writer, I can't do it alone. Nobody can. So while I wait and try not to think about what they are doing, I'm going to smash my fingers on the keyboard and try and get the rest of Romeo and Juliet finished.

Because I've got a few more story ideas brewing thanks to #pitmad...again. I seriously need to not do fake pitches anymore because I'm always coming up with story ideas...

So goals? Yeah, I'm not doing so hot on that. I mean, I've tried, but it's been a struggle (at least the writing part). This happens. It's normal. I'm not any crazier than I was...ok that last part might be a bit of a hyperbole...

  1. Try to write everyday. NOPE
  2. Help with the #writemotivation site development. NEED TO DO MORE
  3. Cheer on my tweeps. YUP
  4. Vlog or blog weekly. SORT OF
  5. Keep up with my reading as I have been devouring books lately. YES! A GOOD DISTRACTION WHEN I'M AVOIDING WRITING.
  6. Finish up my beta for Jessa. STARTED
 Anyway, I will survive. I'll keep writing. And I'll try not to get too distracted by XCOM : Enemy Within...because reasons.


  1. You are totally allowed to take a break. Nano was incredibly stressful for you, especially those last couple of days! Then there's the holidays and yeah, I get the gaming thing. Reading is good escape too. You're working the brain in a different creative way. You'll get there again. I'm still working on trying to get back to my wip. Good luck and let me know if there's anything I can do!

    1. *hugs* Thanks Jai. :D I'm not sleeping well now which means I need to start writing again.

  2. *hugs* I've been feeling the same way. I was doing great during NaNo, but since then, my output has slowed to a comparative crawl. I know a large part of that is because I'm not writing in dedicated 4-hour chunks (I MISS WRITE-INS) but it's also because I'm letting myself be more easily distracted (What? Stargate SG-1 is amazing!).

    Plus, I'm writing in a genre/style I'm unfamiliar with, and it seems like there's been a nigh-constant beat in the back of my head going: "Nobody is going to like this. It sucks."

    However, like you said, reminding myself that I can fix it in draft two is what helps keep me going. And if it doesn't get fixed in draft two, well, that's what draft three is for. :-)

    Keep up the good work! Because who's awesome? You're awesome. ;-)

    1. *hugs* Thank you. :D And go you for stepping out of your preferred genre! :D

  3. Sometimes we need to breathe. The thing about writing is that it's very personal. It digs deep and takes a tiny piece of us with it when we create - so of course your attached. And that fear is natural - we all feel it.
    Just remember - you won that contest to get a mentor. That other thing about your pen name. You can write. You are a writer - you will make what you are writing work after edits.
    Much love <3

    1. Very very true. :D *hugs* Thank you. I try not to let those negative brain things happen, but sometimes it takes a good bunch of friends and people to care about you to help you through it.

  4. The fear gets all of us at one point or another. I've asked myself many times why I put myself through all the sleep deprivation and criticism and studying. But it's worth it! Keep up the positive thinking and you'll get there!

  5. Reading is always a good distraction. *hugs* Maybe you just need a break from HJ? I hit that point with Catalyst last summer, and sounds like you're getting to the same sticky brain mush that I fell into.

    1. *hugs* Thanks. :D I threw it at a couple people and begged them to help.