Thursday, February 22, 2018

It Has to Stop.

Photo credit: Philippe Put on Flickr

This post was inspired by the NY Times opinion article The Boys are Not All Right by Michael Ian Black.

I often joke about how I'm not "manly." In some ways, this is a defense mechanism developed by many years of being told I was "too sensitive" and at the extreme ends "weak" or a "victim." So truth time. I was a victim of abuse and neglect as well as constant bullying by my male peers. But I wasn't weak because, despite the constant beat down, I survived. I grew and have strived to be a better person. Also, I have oppositional tendencies, so I refuse to be told what to do. ;-)

Yesterday I was texting a friend and they were talking about how it was difficult to find a guy that wasn't a huge asshole. She was all "how come you are different?" That question is complex and I didn't have a ready answer. I know I've made mistakes and acted out. Hurt people who didn't deserve it.

My response was this: Because I never wanted to be that way and was strong enough to get the help I needed. This is a pat answer, but it was the best I could come up with without delving into the complexities of my life and the struggles of my undiagnosed autism. The decisions I made and where made for me. The people I met who changed my life and helped me find a clear way based what we call "toxic masculinity."

She rightfully commented that it's a matter of education. We are taught to be who we are. Taught to be "tough" and that crying is for "sissies" and "pussies." We are taught to hit first because feelings are "weak." As I explained to her, most men can't move past this. In the case of abusers, it is often a cycle that has been repeated until someone breaks it. In most cases, men aren't taught to be better. They are given every excuse to be the way they are without any repercussions. We see this every day as more and more men are being outed as serial abusers and harassers.

Women have been saying these things for years. We, as men, haven't listened. We have continued to march forward, oblivious to the pain and suffering we have left in our wake. It's time we started listening. It's time to teach ourselves and our children how to be better people, and feelings are ok and healthy. That violence solves nothing. That no one is entitled to the control and use another person.

If we want to curb mass shootings, this needs to be part of the solution. If we want to reduce sexual assault, this needs to happen. If we want people to feel safe, this needs to happen. Since 1982 the majority of mass shootings have been committed by men with most being white. The majority of sexual assaults and harassment have been committed by men (for example the Olympic doctor who assaulted and abused over 100 people). The majority of abuse cases have been perpetrated by men. These are all statistics that can easily be obtained.

These are the facts. This needs to end. We need to stop hurting ourselves and others.

UPDATE: A friend rightly pointed out to me that the majority of men don't report sexual assault or harassment as it is seen as a weakness. A man is also less likely to report assault when another man is involved. Therefore, the number is probably significantly higher than what is provided. However, there is still a significant disparity between assaults and harassment of women versus men. This is fed by a culture that views women as weaker and a thing to be owned. One just needs to look at how many men are given light sentences when charged with assault.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Book Blitz: PARASITE (The Domino Project pt. 3) by K.T Hanna

Parasite (The Domino Project #3)

by K.T. Hanna

Release Date: February 22nd 2016

Amaranthine Press

Summary from Goodreads:

With the Damascus closing in on the Exiled, Sai and Dom must put their grief and inner demons aside as they rush to free the people of the Protected Conglomerate from the influence of the psionic grid. 

Chipped and placed under house arrest with a guard, Bastian's only hope lies in reaching his core to disrupt Deign's ruthless plan. 

Intent on putting a stop to the Damascus and the GNW's reign, Dom discovers the true extent of the parasite within. Just when Sai thinks the Exiled have a chance, their greatest weapon turns on them.

Previous books in the series (clink on image for Goodreads link):

celebrate Parasite’s release, Chameleon and Hybrid are on sale for

for Book #1 - CHAMELEON
“Hanna takes familiar
sci-fi genre elements… and spins dystopian gold.” Kirkus Reviews

About the Author

KT Hanna has a love for words so extreme, a single word can spark entire worlds.

Born in Australia, she met her husband in a computer game, moved to the U.S.A. and went into culture shock. Bonus? Not as many creatures specifically out to kill you.

When she’s not writing, she freelance edits for Chimera Editing, and chases her daughter, husband, corgi, and cat. No, she doesn’t sleep. She is entirely powered by the number 2, caffeine, and beef jerky.

Note: Still searching for her Tardis
Author Links:
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Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Release Day Blitz: HYBRID (The Domino Project #2) by K.T. Hanna

HYBRID (The Domino Project #2) goes out into the world today.

We're celebrating with an excerpt reading, and a giveaway!

If you haven't read CHAMELEON - it's on sale until the end of 11/12/15 for $0.99


K.T. Hanna reads an excerpt
As Sai recovers from her life-threatening injuries, she struggles to piece together her damaged relationship with Dom. He fights the parasite within, suddenly freed from the interference of the other Dominos in his head.
Inside Central, Bastian’s Shine dosing has become a dangerous dance. Enhanced security protocols and endless meetings have him on a tightrope, with little room to move without revealing himself.
When the GNW release the Damascus to begin their systemic hunt of the Exiled, the noose closes around the rebels and their allies. If they can’t disable the threat, the Exiled won’t be the Damascus’ only agenda.


Praise for Chameleon - The Domino Project #1

“Wow! A fast-paced, science fiction delight with fabulous action, a seamless world, and the most unique characters I’ve read in a long time.”
Elana Johnson, Author of the Possession Series.

“Nikita-like post-apocolyptic novel with a heroine that would give Katniss a run for her money.”
Alina @

Psionics is wicked cool and I wish a meteor would give me some super-secret powers. The logistics of the abilities are many, and normally would have been a nightmare to follow. Hanna handles it with enough subtle description laced through the opening chapters that you’re able to grasp their powers naturally.
Heather @ Aussie Owned and Read

A seriously great sci-fi. Dark, edgy and complex. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It’s a gripping read because of the author’s tense voice; the characters are well defined, believable and likeable, despite all of their flaws; the story flows well; and the ending leaves you on edge to read more. If you like sci-fi, you will love this book.
Kate Foster – Author of Winell Road

HYBRID is available at the following retailers


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