Success and Failure in Life

Everything I needed to know about success I learned from the Tortoise and the Hare.

Ok. Not that one.

This one.

It's a classic story and one that has been told to children ever since Aesop "wrote" it centuries ago. Everyone uses it to teach kids that speed doesn't necessarily win the race, that slow and steady wins.

Recently, I started looking at this simple fable and little differently. It's not about speed or steadiness. It's about not giving up. It's about not taking what you have for granted. It's about what one person can do if they put their mind to it. Slow or fast, you will get to the end if you just keep trying and putting one foot in front of the other. Just like the tortoise.

Anyway this all started from a series of tweets back in June.

Lack of success does not equal failure. Failure only happens when you are not willing to reach for your dreams. #thoughtsatapark
— M. Andrew Patterson (@M_A_Patterson) June 17, 2014

Notice I said "reach for" and not just "reach". Success is a measure of effort and will, not of attainment. Big difference
— M. Andrew Patterson (@M_A_Patterson) June 17, 2014

It's the tortoise and the hare. Tortoise had the will to succeed. Hare only had the ability. Tortoise won. It's really that simple.
— M. Andrew Patterson (@M_A_Patterson) June 17, 2014

There were other tweets that day where I waxed philosophically about writing and success and failure, but these three tweets are what it comes down to. If you try to attain your goals, you are succeeding whether you reach them or not. Goals are just the pie in the sky "I want to get there" kind of thing. One of my goals is to be a better person. I will never reach this goal. Not that I can't be a good person, only that I am always striving to be a better person.

At the last Academy Awards, Matthew McConaughey gave an acceptance speech that some people hated and others loved. Whatever your feelings about it, I remember one part of it where he said:

So you see every day, every week, every month and every year of my life, my hero’s always 10 years away. I’m never gonna be my hero. I’m not gonna attain that. I know I’m not, and that’s just fine with me because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing.

A lot of people thought he was being self-centered. He wasn't. His goal was to always be a better person tomorrow than he was today. I have that same goal in all aspects of my life. It gives me something to focus on. To dream about. To want. To be that person in 10 years that is better than the person I am today. The moment I stop trying is the moment I fail. It's the moment I die.

If I keep striving, I will always succeed. This is why I don't view not reaching an arbitrary goal during the month a failure. Those are just sign-posts on the way to getting better. So whether it's #writemotivation, NaNoWriMo, weight loss, Grad School, or some other goal I've set for myself. I succeed because I made the effort.

These are my #writemotivation goals for the month. I don't have writing on here because I'm writing something under my penname.

1. Beta reading two revised novels
2. Cheer on my #writemotivation peeps!
3. Try to get some real blogging in
4. Do gradschool homework.

'Till Next Time

Blog Hop: The Writing Process plus #Writemotivation update (April 2014 No. 1)

So I've been a bit quiet over here. Mostly I've been busy either revising HJ (for the billionth time), playing on the computer, doing Grad School stuff, or just being lazy. I'll let you pick one.

Anyway, April has started off slow in writing but busy in others.

However, I was recently tagged by one my fellow #writemotivation tweeps, the lovely Carissa and should probably A) do this post and B) update on my goals for the month.

Here are the four questions she asked.

1. What writerly endeavors am I currently working on?
Currently, I am working on the 7th revision of my YA contemporary novel, Hate Jacket. I was halfway through revision 6 when my awesome CP, Bonnie, recommended that I delete one of the characters. It's actually an awesome idea, but it meant I had to go through and remove a primary character and replace them with another. This means starting back at the beginning and reworking some scenes to replace one character with another. Not a huge deal, but one that I have to make sure I do completely or it will be confusing. I'm hoping this fixes the plot issues I've been having.

At the same time, my brain is starting to itch to start a novel that I'm not even ready to start until I'm done with Romeo and Juliet escape Hell (my NaNo novel that I'm stopped at 40K with and need to break apart and maybe do some plotting to figure out how I got stuck). Said new novel is awesome and shiny and based on the music of Meg Myers. If you follow me on twitter, you'll probably see me talk about her music. It's dark, moody, obsessive, and it gives me awesomely cool story ideas (I feel like a creeper talking about it all the time, but it is just that awesome). I let her music influence a story, titled THE KNIFE, that got published in Issue 17 of Veux Magazine. They did a beautiful spread of photos with models and everything. Blew my mind. Check it out.

Anyway, I had to get some of the Meg Myers story, titled Something Beautiful, out of my head so I could focus. I wrote the first few lines and they really popped. Now my brain is all WE MUST WRITE THE PRECIOUSSSS! But I can't. Even though I've got the end figured out. R&J needs to be finished first. I have people who want to read it.

We won't talk about what I'm doing with the penname stuff. Needless to say, he has some cool stuff in the works, but we won't talk about it here. Because this is for my YA, etc. writing and not for the more adult themes that he works on.


2. How does my work differ from others in my genre?
Hate Jacket is dark. Yes, there is dark YA out there. I think HJ is different because the main character is A) male and B) not an alpha male. He's a Beta at best. Really, he's angry, depressed, and abused. He's a victim and he has to stand up and stop being a victim before he can take control of his life and move forward. It deals with a lot of issues that I don't think get mentioned much in YA, especially from a male's perspective. Usually these types of books center on a girl.

3. Why do I write what I write?
Honestly, I wanted to be a scifi/fantasy writer. Unfortunately, my brain has decided it has an easier time writing stories about real world stuff. I have some scifi/fantasy story ideas (R&J being one), but I seriously struggle with them. Not sure why. I used to read SF/F exclusively growing up.

4. How does my writing process work. 
It's supposed to work? Wait. Did I miss something here?

Seriously? I'm a quasi-pantser. I write and then outline later. To some degree my brain wants to figure out the characters a bit first. However, I have learned a lot from writing Hate Jacket under the mentorship of Nicole Rescinti. One of them is that I think I can outline. Or at least, outline in the way that makes sense to me. I know I'll never do a point by point outline. It's not how my brain works. How it works is to write a couple sentences for each chapter as I go. However, if I can channel that before I start writing, I might be able to maybe avoid getting stuck like I have with R&J.

Now for my #writemotivation goals
Grad School

1. Finish my LibGuide (Due April 11) YES! You can see it here.
2. Finish up my reflection journal. Haven't finished this.

Writing

1. Finish revisions of the first half of HJ. Almost done.
2. Stop getting anymore cool ideas for revising HJ. Thankfully, no. I think this is done. I do need to stop getting ideas for Something Beautiful though.
3. Cheer on my #writemotivation buddies. I've done some of this. Need more and visit some blogs.
4. BLOG (I'm so bad about this). Ack! So bad! But I'm getting there.
5. Read my beta reading that I've been putting off. I am doing this!

'Till Next Time

Never Give Up. Never Surrender.

Looking back at my blog posts, I realized something. It has been almost exactly a month since I posted anything that wasn't a book review or a cover reveal. Now, don't get me wrong. I love doing those posts. I love promoting my friends work. However, in most cases, they aren't posts that are from me. With cover reveals, 90% of the text is provided. It doesn't take much time or effort on my part.

Another thing I noticed was that it has been a while since I've done any consistent writing. Now, I have been writing, just not consistently. Instead I've been flopping around, reading, playing Darkout, and doing Grad School stuff. All of these things are important, but I really need to finish Hate Jacket. It's that Damacles sword hanging over my head. Reminding me that if I don't finish, I'll fail.

And then there's the fear. The fear of not necessarily failing, but of writing the story that NEEDS to be written. Hate Jacket is THAT story. It's not pretty. It's scary and not in a horror movie way. It's the kind of horror that only real life creates. It's not some hollywood monster grabbing at us when we walk alone, at night, with a faulty flashlight in the monster infested forest. No, this is the horror that comes from people making horrible decisions.

I'm allowing myself to write that story and it scares me.

This is not a bad thing. It's just a scary thing.

There is a difference. Unfortunately, when I get scared, I hide. I hide from the words. I hide from life. I disappear into books and games and try to ignore the words slamming around inside my brain.

A couple days ago, I forced myself to open my netbook and start working on revisions. It's still slow, but I'm getting there.

My #writemotivation goals for March are pretty shot at this point. I've done some reading and done a little revisions. I've posted a few motivational tweets for my friends. Been in a few DM conversations with some people who needed to vent.

That being said, I won't call this month a failure. I didn't accomplish my goals, but that doesn't make me a failure. It just means I have to work harder. Besides, there's still a week left to redeem myself. Right? Maybe? I think?

So here's some motivation from one of my favorite movies, Galaxy Quest. I think the mullet says it all.

'Till Next Time.

p.s. On an awesome note, it looks like another short of mine will appear in Veux Magazine. I'll give more details when I know more.

For the Good of the Story

So the other day, I had a flash of inspiration which caused this tweet.

That moment when you have a really good idea and you realize it means rewriting a more of your novel than originally thought. @NicLitAgent
— M. Andrew Patterson (@M_A_Patterson) February 15, 2014

But my brain wasn't done. No it had better ideas to come.

Some people get chills when they figure out awesome for their plot Me? I cry. I'm gonna tear your hearts out on this one. @NicLitAgent
— M. Andrew Patterson (@M_A_Patterson) February 19, 2014

And before long I was drafting an email to my CP, Bonnie, and doing my best not to ball. I even borrowed a Kleenex from my boss because I was talking to her about something else when it hit me. Seriously, some people get chills, I want to cry.

And I wasn't crying because I was planning on doing horrible things to my main character, it was because I was going to horrible things to my main character and knew it would make the story better, darker, stronger.

Seriously, I plan on ripping your hearts out with this one. It's what I should have done from the beginning, but I wasn't ready. I was scared by what I was writing and instinctively pulled back. A good friend of mine constantly reminded me of that when she read the first couple drafts.

She would say, "Andrew. You know you can do more than this. You pulled back. I can tell."

And I would hang my head in shame and shuffle off and rewrite the scene. Still, I pulled my punches even then. But now I won't. I can't. I've already drawn up how I want to change things. New scenes will be written, old ones will be modified or deleted. All in the name of what is good for the story.

The lesson as it were? Don't hold back. Don't be scared of pushing the envelope and letting your story sing. It'll be better for it.

Writing Goals:

1. Continue revising HJ based on feedback. Chapters 1-3 are revised and off to my CP
2. Blog weekly. Doing this.
3. Visit at least 1 #writemotivation blog a week. Hit 2+ this week. :D
4. Cheer on my #writemotivation buddies on twitter. Have been. Lots of awesome goal butt-kicking going on there. People are doing awesome.
5. Continue working on the helpful links section of the Writemotivation website (currently hidden). Found some awesome links to add.

Grad School Goals:

1. Read my grad school textbooks (need to catch up). Sort of. Slacked off a bit.
2. Work on my reflection journal (for grad school). Haven't done any more, but I have to write a fake newspaper article for class that is part of a group project.

'Till next time.

OMG...It's a blog post!

Yup. It's a blog post. Been a while, I know. I've been busy (and playing video games and shoveling snow and stuff and more stuff...)

Anyway, enough with the wasting time because I'm getting nothing done. Ok, I'm getting lots done, just not a whole lot of writing done. At least creative writing.

For those who haven't heard by now, I started grad school. Something I never thought I would do. After 20 years (yes, I'm old) of working in libraries, I've finally decided to get my Masters degree. Thankfully, there is a good college nearby that offers classes within 10 minutes of my house.

I've been doing a lot of reading. Some grad school related and some fun related. And I have an awesome new plot bunny nibbling at my brain that I am trying to ignore because I have to finish the newest revision of Hate Jacket as well as finish up Romeo and Juliet. Both of these take priority over shiny new librarian novel.

Despite that, I have been sneaking in some time to think about it. My excuse is that it's related to librarians and library stuff and all of my readings can be used as research for it. It's a really cool idea. It's a bit of a dystopia, but I think the idea is different enough to stand out. We'll see. As slow as I write, it could be a long time before it's done anyway.

In my "copious" free time, I wrote a little story for my friend, Gina Denny. My prompt was a line from the book Oh the Thinks You Can Think! by Dr. Seuss. Mine was "A race on a horse on a ball with a fish". Mine is one of many. I encourage you all to hope over there and read a few.

Writing Goals:

1. Continue revising HJ based on feedback. Chapter 1 and 2 are revised, but I need to do some tweaking on chapter 2 before starting on 3.
2. Blog weekly. Technically, I blogged last week, but not on my updates.
3. Visit at least 1 #writemotivation blog a week. Errr...need to do this.
4. Cheer on my #writemotivation buddies on twitter. Have been. Lots of awesome goal butt-kicking going on there. People are doing awesome.
5. Continue working on the helpful links section of the Writemotivation website (currently hidden). I've got it planned out, just need to start filling with links.

Grad School Goals:

1. Read my grad school textbooks (need to catch up). I've been reading! Slowly catching up. Some are more interesting than others.
2. Work on my reflection journal (for grad school). Did my first journal entry. It was somewhat babbly.

Well, that's all I have.

'Till next time

When the Words Don't Suck

As a writer, it's hard sometimes not to fall into the lie that all the words suck. I've seen it on a dozen or more posts. Hell, I've been feeling that way for a while. It usually starts around the middle of writing that first draft. And then of course, once you get the first draft done, you have to fight the "What the hell did I just write. OMG I SUCK!" feelings. Then you send it off to your CP's (critique partners) and Beta Readers and sit there biting your nails thinking that they will hate you for even sending them something so absolutely horrible. Then you get their notes back and you're like "OMG! THESE WORDS SUCK!"

Basically, the entire time you are either worried about it sucking or feeling like it sucks.

Which boils down to the reality that all authors are masochists and enjoy feeling bad about ourselves.

Ok, so not really, but it is hard to be positive when you create something out of a vacuum and then make it a living breathing thing that is both believable and entertaining.

Seriously, it's hard.

So when do the words stop sucking?

About the time you change how you think about the whole thing. About the time that you realize the whole thing is a process that won't be done in just one pass. That it is an imperfect thing created by an imperfect person and will never be perfect, but can still be amazing just the same. Some people will love it and some people will hate it and then some people will enjoy it. But no matter what, it won't be perfect. And that's ok.

So, if you want the words to stop sucking, YOU have to do it. Nobody else will do it for you.
Is it hard? Yes, changing your thought processes is very hard.
Can it be done? Yes, it can.
Can I have a cookie? Yes, you may.

So I'm writing this post for you and for me. I've been feeling down and like everything I'm writing sucks. It's an easy trap to fall into. It's also why I have been working on the same chapter since NaNo ended...52 days ago.

Fear and self-doubt kill creativity.

Did I mention that nobody can fix this but you?

So last, but not least, my #writemotivation goals.

1. Try to write everyday. Err...um...yeah...skip that.
2. Help with the #writemotivation site development Haven't done much lately. Trying to figure out the best way to present a bunch of links on writing, etc.
3. Cheer on my tweeps Here and there when I haven't been distracted by XCOM
4. Vlog or blog weekly Missed week one, but now back on track.
5. Keep up with my reading as I have been devouring books lately. Beta read a couple things.
6. Finish up my beta for Jessa Still need to do this. >.<

'Till Next Time

The Ups and Downs and All Arounds

I'll be honest. It hasn't been so great in my brain lately. It's not overwhelmingly bad, it's just that I'm stumbling. November was amazing in that I managed to write 50K new words in 30 days (about 25K of that in the last 4 days).

I can do it. I know I can, but why is it that I have written next to nothing since then?

Well, a couple things. There's beens ome personal stuff that I'm working on, but really it comes down to this.

I'm scared that what I'm writing is crap. It's a common fear and one that hits about the halfway mark in any novel writing process. Which, I have hit. And my brain is all wibbly wobbly.

I swear I've been writing the same scene for a month...which I probably have. Probably a time vortex or something. The truth of the matter is this: ALL FIRST DRAFTS SUCK. Why? It's because you are creating something from nothing and you can't fix it until it's been put down.

I've also gotten some amazing news (which I can't share with you because it's my penname and we don't talk about what he does here...also, I'm a tease).

On the flip side, I've gotten my second round of notes from my mentor and my plot in HJ still has problems. So, I called in the cavalry (my CP, my wife, and another friend) to help me figure it out because I'm banging my head against the wall.

Seriously. I'm too inside the story now. I've torn it apart and restructured it five different times. And as a writer, I can't do it alone. Nobody can. So while I wait and try not to think about what they are doing, I'm going to smash my fingers on the keyboard and try and get the rest of Romeo and Juliet finished.

Because I've got a few more story ideas brewing thanks to #pitmad...again. I seriously need to not do fake pitches anymore because I'm always coming up with story ideas...

Igor did all the work & Frankenstein took all the credit. Now a monster is on the loose and the good Dr is nowhere to be found #fakepitmad
— M. Andrew Patterson (@M_A_Patterson) January 8, 2014

Caught standing over a dead body and holding the knife, Rapunzel is exiled to a lonely tower and cursed. #fakepitmad
— M. Andrew Patterson (@M_A_Patterson) January 8, 2014

So goals? Yeah, I'm not doing so hot on that. I mean, I've tried, but it's been a struggle (at least the writing part). This happens. It's normal. I'm not any crazier than I was...ok that last part might be a bit of a hyperbole...

1. Try to write everyday. NOPE
2. Help with the #writemotivation site development. NEED TO DO MORE
3. Cheer on my tweeps. YUP
4. Vlog or blog weekly. SORT OF
5. Keep up with my reading as I have been devouring books lately. YES! A GOOD DISTRACTION WHEN I'M AVOIDING WRITING.
6. Finish up my beta for Jessa. STARTED

 Anyway, I will survive. I'll keep writing. And I'll try not to get too distracted by XCOM : Enemy Within...because reasons.

Last Week of NaNo 2013 Video Post

I've been busy this month and haven't updated my blog in a while. That's because, well, I've been busy. Been doing vlogging instead it seems. Anyway, not sure what happened with my goals this month. I do know that I have 20K to write before Saturday at midnight. Either way, this month is a win. I've got an awesome story with a wicked plot. It'll take some work, but that happens. So, take a look at my newest video and laugh at the outtakes.

'Till Next Time

I Like Banned Books and I Cannot Lie

Banned book week is almost half over and I should probably comment on it. Not only am I an avid reader, I'm also a librarian, and I'm author. I've grown up with books. One time I read 10,000 pages in six months (that was before kids, highspeed internet, and twitter). The fact that anyone would ban a book annoys and saddens me. Reading increases knowledge and understanding. Yes, some of the books on the list have words/concepts that might be offensive. However, I think if you really break it down, you'll realize that any book can theoretically offend someone to the point were they wish to "ban" it from influencing anyone else.

It's sad.

The only thing banning books accomplishes is to degrade a population's ability to think critically and creatively. This is why the printing press was outlawed for so long. An educated population made it difficult for the current regimes to exert their control. This isn't anti-government, it's the truth.

The only purpose to ban books is to control a population. It has nothing to do with morals or offensive language/themes. They don't make people want to do bad things, say bad things, or think bad things. Life does that all on it's own. Books are a way to escape reality and sometimes deal with issues that would be uncomfortable to understand outside of the context of fiction. At the same time, books can give people an awareness of the world that they wouldn't normally get.

Want to know what it's like to be bullied without getting stuffed in a locker yourself?

Read a book.

Want to go on amazing adventure where you go from living in a closet under the stairs to being the one person who can stand up to ultimate evil?

Read a book.

Want to have a happily ever after even though your own life is lonely?

Read a book.

If you want to see what the world looks like without books?

Read Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury...it's also a banned book. Coincidence?

Let's talk about all the Banned books that shaped America. Books like Huckleberry Finn, or even the Autobiography of Malcom X. Don't forget that seditious story Where the Wild Things Are. Don't want to fill our kids minds with stories about things that aren't real or show them what life was like for an African-American in the 1960s. Or what it was like in America before the Civil War. You know, because those things are wrong.

Of course, one of my favorites on the list is the the Bible. You know, that symbol of Christianity? The one that defines the Christian religion?

Wait. Did you say the Bible was a banned book?

Yup. There have been versions of it banned throughout history for one reason or another. In most cases that I was able to find, it was a matter of how it was translated. I found this article from 2011, somewhat interesting. I haven't done further research, but it's fascinating.

If you want to know more about banned books, click the banner at the top of the page with the banned books logo and it'll take you to their site.

Here is a list of the banned books from the "Banned books that shaped America" list that I remember reading. There were a couple I think I read, but can't remember. So, I haven't added them.

• The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
• Beloved by Toni Morrison
• The Call of the Wild by Jack London
• Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
• The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
• The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
• Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
• The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
• Moby-Dick; or The Whale by Herman Melville
• The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
• To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
• Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

What banned books have you read?

Now onto my goals for the month (not associated with Banned Books week).

1. Do the homework assigned to me by my Mentor Agent regarding HJ. DONE!!
2. Revise HJ based on Homework.  IN PROGRESS. Figured out my plot. Just a matter now of making the changes. Up to chapter 9 (which used to be later in the book).
3. Take what I learned and apply it to my current WIP if I have time.  Probably won't get this done, but we'll see.
4. Blog once a week. Yes
5. Cheer on my twitter and #writemotivation friends. Totally!

'Till Next Time

Cleaning House and September 2013 #writemotivation Update

So the first week of September has come and gone and I have finished my homework for my awesome mentor. And I've learned something.

Having two antagonists with two separate agendas and that are not working together can really confuse things.

Yup. I did it.  And this is why Nicole said this:

Where is the plot? I think this is the biggest element that I struggle with. I kept looking for the hook, the moment where the problem would be presented and I'd follow the hero on his journey to overcome it. However, there is no clear plot.

You're hero should have one defined goal. Yes, you can have multiple bad guys, but they have to work together against the hero. Yes, they can have their own agendas, but if your protagonist has to split between struggling against two separate camps, it's going to get confusing.

So, I'm cutting a character arc. The character will still be there and involved, but not with the same focus. The character is more of a symptom of my main character's life and not the cause of it.

I have direction.

I have committed atrocities to my plot using a dull chainsaw and have duct taped the tattered remains together. And I've started rewriting. And when I'm done, it'll be (hopefully) prettier than when I started.

The other thing I've learned is that Sick Puppies is the perfect soundtrack to writing this story. I thought I had a good soundtrack, but then I heard "My World" by Sick Puppies and I knew.

Goals for the month:

1. Do the homework assigned to me by my Mentor Agent regarding HJ. DONE!!
2. Revise HJ based on Homework.  IN PROGRESS
3. Take what I learned and apply it to my current WIP if I have time.  Probably won't get this done, but we'll see.
4. Blog once a week. Yes
5. Cheer on my twitter and #writemotivation friends. Totally!

'Till Next Time

Committing Atrocities on my Plot

So it's the beginning of the month of September. I have goals for this month. Goals that I hope to actually accomplish (unlike the last couple months of flailing).

Anyway, I've been plotting and planning the demise of my somewhat vague plot based on the homework my mentor suggested I do. I call it homework, but it isn't really. It was helpful and eye opening.

Anyway, I was talking to one of my betas and was all "What if..." and she was all, "YES!". So now I'm waiting to see what my CP thinks *nudges CP*. But, while I'm waiting, I'm warming up the chainsaw to do some evisceration on my plot. It will be very revvy and eviceration-y.

The problem with my plot was it was too much. I had too much and it confused the reader as to what they were supposed to be focusing on. By the way, this is fine with thrillers and you want to confuse things, but not so good when you are writing a contemporary story about a kid dealing with the crap in his life and trying to keep his head above water.

So, like Bruce Campbell, I'll be a chainsaw, boomstick wielding freak of nature on a rampage against the deadite words in my manuscript.

 

And then, when I've finished, I will be all...

 And I'll send it off to my betas, my CP and ultimately my mentor and be all...

So there you have it.

Goals for the month:

1. Do the homework assigned to me by my Mentor Agent regarding HJ. DONE!!
2. Revise HJ based on Homework
3. Take what I learned and apply it to my current WIP if I have time
4. Blog once a week
5. Cheer on my twitter and #writemotivation friends

'Till Next Time.

August 2013 #writemotivation update 2

Um...wasn't it just July?

Seriously. Where the hell did August go?

I don't know. It's weird. Some months it just flies and some months it just crawls. And sometimes it just flops about and does nothing.

Ok. So, here is where things stand. The wrist is getting way better. Up to 40 degrees of passive movement (that's when my therapist pulls my fingers down and I cry)--speaking of my therapist, she'll try to convince you that she's a little old lady...she isn't. She's taller than me.

Anyway, I'm weening off the brace which means I can type better. This should help my writing immensely. I've also started to get a good feel for my new MCs voice. this means I can stop flailing and get more writing down.

Provided I stop goofing off...and seeing as I don't have the excuse of the brace getting in the way...

Anyway, here is my goal update:

1. Write every day. This will be hampered by the wrist surgery, but still something I need to strive for. I should be out of the brace almost 100% by the end of the week. This should help me type better.
2. Blog once a week. Yup!
3. Cheer on my #writemotivation tweeps I've thrown some Dino Zombie Cheerleader Ninja Throwing Star Cookies about.
4. Read two books. I started Red Shirts by John Scalzi. It's a fun book and has lots of references to Star Trek. It's awesome.
5. Participate in the Pay It Forward Giveaway (see button on the side-bar). Done.
   

Also, I'm playing around with my blog theme (if you haven't noticed). Not sure it will stay this way, but we'll see.

And now for the cutest freaking picture in the universe...seriously...it's adorable.

'Till Next Time.

August 2013 #writemotivation Update No. 1

So, it's already the second full week of August and I haven't done an update yet.

I should be punished.

With this...because...bacon

Anyway, I'm slowly recovering from the surgery. I'm up to 30 degrees of flexibility down. Up is better as the ligament controlling that motion wasn't the one worked on. I have an appointment with the hand doctor next week and we'll see where we go from there. So, for the time being, I'm being abused by my physical therapist.

I told her we needed a safe word besides "Oh God, that hurts!" or "I hate you!" or "Please God, make it stop" or "Just chop the damn thing off, it'll hurt less!" because those things just make her laugh.

And now for August's goals:

1. Write every day. This will be hampered by the wrist surgery, but still something I need to strive for. I haven't done this yet, but the wrist is still cumbersome to use because of the brace. However, it isn't so much in the way as to make writing impossible. So, I've been slow getting back to this point.
2. Blog once a week. Yup! Haven't done the weekly updates, but I have had a couple blog posts a week since the beginning of the month.
3. Cheer on my #writemotivation tweeps Getting better at this. Missed out on a few days because of the surgery and then plague
4. Read two books. Er...I'm not sure I've read anything this month. I'll have to check.
5. Participate in the Pay It Forward Giveaway (see button on the side-bar). YES! Had a lot of fun with it and hope to do it again soon.

'Till Next Time.

July #writemotivation and Surgery Wrap-up

The blog post wherein I am taunted by a coffee maker, am turned into a canvas by a maniacal surgeon, am stabbed with needles, am given a liter of fluid in half an hour, learned that a Bier Block is not a reference to alcohol, am sliced and diced and given pain meds, woke up with Oompa Loompa fingers, and sleep for 3 days.

But before all that, let's talk about July's goals. Somewhere along the way, July came and went. I wrote, I read, I cheered, I flailed, I had lots of feels about flailing, and I slowly got back into a groove before getting disrupted by surgery.

The last few days have been a blur...literally.

July Goals:

1. Try to write every day or do something involving writing (really didn’t do that in June and ended up flopping around like a dying goldfish) I did some writing, did a lot of reading, and did some critiquing.
2. Finish up my critiques. Yup.
3. Cheer my #writemotivation pals on. There was some cookie slinging going on.

I'm doing my best not to feel bad about my writing this past month. I struggled a lot and the last few days have been hard physically and emotionally. Who knew surgery would take so much out of a person.


August Goals:

1. Write every day. This will be hampered by the wrist surgery, but still something I need to strive for.
2. Blog once a week.
3. Cheer on my #writemotivation tweeps
4. Read two books
5. Participate in the Pay It Forward Giveaway (see button on the side-bar)

Now on to the insanity.

It started with the taunting coffee maker. I was dying by this point. I had not eaten since the night before and I had to sit and stare at the coffee maker at the surgery center's waiting room. It was torture.

The coffee maker...it taunts me.

There were two IV ports inserted into my body. One went into my left arm that delivered antiobiotics, fluid, the general anesthetic, and other meds as needed. While waiting for the surgery before me to finish, the nurse accidentally left the saline bag all the way open and pumped a liter of fluid into my body in about 30 minutes. Needless to say, I had to use the restroom a couple times before the surgery.

I've been marked. I wonder if I could sell his signature on eBay...

The marking was important because they needed to make sure the Bier Block did not interfere with the surgery. No, not Beer...Bier. A Bier Block is pretty cool. The put a tourniquet on your arm and an IV in the other end and numb the arm completely. The ended up putting the port on the inside of my wrist. The nurses loved my veins as they were nice and large and easy to poke.

The surgery went well. The doctor repaired the small tear and cleared out what he called "debris". I wasn't conscious, so I'm not sure of the details. I see him in a couple weeks, so I should get the details then. When I woke up, I had Oompa Loompa fingers as my hand was swollen and covered in orange surgery prep stuff. If I had been more conscious, I would have snapped a picture.

UPDATE: Forgot to mention that I dreamed that someone was playing Journey's Don't Stop Believing during the surgery. Reality they weren't. It was still weird.

I did get some Diet Dr. Pepper, but my stomach was not up to coffee at that point. And I actually didn't have any that day.

FYI: My arm isn't bent awkwardly, that is my knee in the lower left hand corner. My arm is resting on it.

It's hard to see in that picture, but my fingers are orange and very swollen. I was also pale and feeling icky. Mostly nauseous from the meds and stuff as well as fuzzy from the Hydrocodone. I slept for several days.

It's only a flesh wound! Had worse!

It doesn't look that bad here. Mostly because it is covered by something called a Steri-strip. I have to change the dressing once a day (the Steri-strip stays until it falls off or the doctor removes it). I'm learning to do things one-handed as most things are not possible or difficult with the right hand. You don't realize how dependent you are on everything working correctly until your without. I'm getting better, but sometimes I forget and over use the hand and it hurts.

The pain has been constant, but not overwhelming anymore. I took my last pain pill Sunday morning with Tylenol and the occasional Aleve filling in the gaps. I wear a sling when I'm icing it. Thursday, I see the physical therapist and I should be out of the brace in two weeks.

I'm lucky. We caught it early. If I had waited too long, it could have caused irreversible muscle and nerve damage. Something I'm learning is, if the joint isn't stable, there is something wrong. You would think it would be easy to remember, but I'm a guy and like to think I'm tough.

Oh, and the other hand has a nice bruise on it from the IV port...

Yes, it hurts to touch.

Anyway, looking for August to be a little better. Typing is only affected when the hand hurts too much, but that part is getting better daily.

'Till Next Time.

It's Just a Flesh Wound! and July 2013 #writemotivation number 4

So a few days ago, I had a post talking about my wrist injury. Well, the saga continues.

Last week, I had a doctor's appointment with family doctor. He took a look at my wrist and declared I had something called a Ganglion Cyst. The traditional treatment was to thump the offending cyst with the spine of a book. This garnered the name "Bible Cyst" as most houses had one (in the OOOOOLD days).

I'm not unfamiliar with this cyst. My sister had one when we were younger (same wrist even). It took surgery to repair it.

Anyway, I was sent on to the hand doctor. He took one look at it and said that I needed surgery. He said that "Ganglion Cyst" is a catch all phrase for these things. In my case, he said, I have ruptured the wrist capsule and am leaking fluid into an area it shouldn't be. Not only is it uncomfortable, it is pressing against the nerves. In other words, it hurts. It is also getting worse and if left untreated could cause permanent muscle damage.

Right now, I can't write with a pen or pencil for longer than it takes to write my name. I can, however, still type (which means I can write). If I couldn't, there are options. I can't really scrub things like dishes for very long. Chopping vegetables is painful after a few chops. Pressure on the back (Dorsal) part of my wrist is very painful.

So, I have surgery scheduled for Thursday (7/25). It's outpatient and should only take a couple hours (including recovery time). In preparation and I can't eat anything after midnight Wednesday. And when I say "anything" that includes liquids. So no coffee until AFTER the surgery. When they asked if I had any questions, I joking asked if they could give me some coffee when I woke up. We'll see if they follow through.

On to the goals:

1. Try to write every day or do something involving writing (really didn’t do that in June and ended up flopping around like a dying goldfish) I've been reading a lot lately. However, I did send out a couple chapters of Snapshot to a few people and have got super amazing responses.
2. Finish up my critiques. Had a wonderful Skype session with Tawney (the winner of my #fundsforFeaky auction). We talked about a lot of things (books, movies, story ideas), etc. I also did a crit for my wonderful CP and even read an amazing short story by another friend.
3. Cheer my #writemotivation pals on. Still cheering!

And now for today's dose of super cute gif.

'Till Next Time

July 2013 #writemotivation Update 3

So, a couple days ago, this happened.

My wrist has been sore for a while, but recently the stiffness turned into pain. It's to the point where I can't write by hand without pain (which I generally only do when writing shopping lists) and I can't fold laundry. Certain movements hurt. I have a doctor's appointment Tuesday. We'll see what he says. I've been wearing the splint for a week and it hasn't improved. I've also been icing it and taking anti-inflammatories.

The theory is that I hurt it at Wifey's bday party. We went to someplace called PowerPlay and I was using this mallet to try and ring a bell. I'd never been able to do that before, but this time I did. I only got 40 "tickets" out of breaking the top score. My thumb was sore from how hard I was hitting the strike plate (I was jumping in the air to hit it) and I ignored it (like the man I am). It was sometime after (maybe a couple days? I can't remember) that I noticed my wrist was stiff.

It got worse when I was getting out of bed one night to use the bathroom. My bed has high sides because it used to be a waterbed (got it on Craigslist so who knows). Anyway, I was pushing off the side to stand up and my wrist buckled. Which hurt (obviously). It's been getting worse and worse since that point.

The good news is that I can still type!

So here are my goals:

1. Try to write every day or do something involving writing (really didn’t do that in June and ended up flopping around like a dying goldfish) So far so good! Into chapter 3 and I just sent what I had to my wonderful CP, Bonnie, to see what she thinks.
2. Finish up my critiques. So this is done. I've scheduled a follow up skype session with the winner of my #fundsforFeaky auction.
3. Cheer my #writemotivation pals on. Still a little quiet on this, but I'm still doing it. Lots of awesome things happening for people and accomplishing their goals.

Also this last week, I got to go see one of my favorite authors, Tessa Gratton, talk about her new book The Lost Sun. I'm so excited to read this book. In addition to talking about writing, her new book, etc. She read part of her favorite book (and what really inspired her to write) Beowulf. Her version had the old English and Modern translation. It was also translated by a poet so it's more lyrical. Most translations make it prose and they lose the lyrical beauty. Anyway, from the part she read, I totally want to read it now (the version she had and not a prose one).

This isn't the best picture, but she moves around a lot when she's talking and I had to take the picture three times (and then my phone died). Anyway, if you haven't read any of her books, I highly recommend them.

After the discussion where she answered some really awesome questions, she had a book signing. I need to take a picture of what she wrote in my book. It's a continuation of what she wrote when she signed my copy of Blood Magic (her first book and my first experience with YA paranormal...like ever). In that copy (that I swear I have a picture of somewhere), she wrote "To that psycho freak who stalks me on Twitter." In my copy of The Lost Sun, she wrote "Still Stalking Me!".

I'll take pictures and post later because it's awesome. The reality is I don't stalk her, but I do admire her. She's an amazing writer and a wonderful person. I've had the opportunity to hang out with on multiple occasions. She is a local author and we are both part of a group of Kansas authors that meets regularly.

The last thing that happened this week was #PitchMAS. I wasn't going to participate because Hate Jacket is with my mentor agent. But, I decided to anyway. I ended up with three requests. One has been sent out, the other two will be soon. I did pitch my two picture books, but nobody seemed interested. Either I wasn't pitching them well enough or I wasn't pitching them when the few people interested in picture books were watching. It was a long shot on those two, but I tried.

'Till Next Time.

July 2013 #writemotivation Updates 1 and 2

Ok. Last week was super busy. Not only did I have two blog posts for other people (A cover reveal for Jennifer L. Armintrout and a post about the new look of Entangled Publishing Indulgence line). Not only that, but it was Angsty Tween's 12th birthday, my 15th wedding anniversary, the 4th of July and then it was Friday and I hadn't done a #writemotivation blog post.

Seriously, the world needs to slow down sometimes.

Anyway, here are my goals and progress for this month:

1. Try to write every day or do something involving writing (really didn’t do that in June and ended up flopping around like a dying goldfish) Doing really good with this. I have either written or read every day this month. Last Friday I think I finally broke through the wall and the words started flowing again. I've been focusing on Snapshot and making good progress. Might have to send some of it to my betas so they can tell me if it works or not.
2. Finish up my beta read (if I don’t finish it before the end of June). I sent a response to the author and am waiting for them to respond. In the meantime, I am doing a review of someone else's first 10 pages as part of the #FundsForFeaky auction. Hopefully I won't make them cry...too much...
3. Cheer my #writemotivation pals on. Sort of...need to do better on this. Last week was super busy.

And now for a cute animal gif...because...

'Till Next Time.

June 2013 #writemotivation Wrap-Up and #fundsforfeaky

June is almost over and I feel like I accomplished very little. Some of it is my fault (*cough*Skyrim*cough*), some is just life in general. That doesn't mean I failed. Failure is not in my #writemotivation vocabulary. As long as I get something done, I'm not a failure. Did I meet my goals? Yes. But I still don't feel like I wrote as much as I should.

1. Try not to kill my muse Done. Muse is cooperating and adding more stories to my brain...
2. Write up character stuff and whatnot for “Snapshot”, aka the Uber Plot Bunny. I did that and even wrote the first chapter.
3. Blog once a week. Done.
4. Cheer on my buddies. On blogs and even on twitter. Plus I attended a virtual meetup and made Michelle laugh so hard she just about fell out of her chair.
5. Try not to obsess about HJ being at Mentor Agent. Done. *twitch* Got an email from my mentor letting me know that I should be hearing from them soon. MEEEEP!

By the way...if you haven't tried Google Hangout, it has some fun features. For part of the conversation, I was a monocled king with an epic stash. Unfortunately, I was alone when this happened.

We took a lot of pictures of Michelle because she had the best facial expressions. I'll be nice and not post an embarrassing one...I'll keep those for blackmail later.

I was laughing so hard I was crying.

Now on to July's goals.

1. Try to write every day or do something involving writing (really didn't do that in June and ended up flopping around like a dying goldfish)
2. Finish up my beta read (if I don't finish it before the end of June)
3. Cheer my #writemotivation pals on
4. Blog once a week.

One last thing, a friend of mine was forced from her home by a flood. Her library where she works was under several feet of water and she had 10 minutes to evacuate her home with only those few things she could carry. I am participating in an auction to raise money to help her and her family as well as provide books to the library where she worked.

For more info on the auction and how you can help, go to Jessa Russo's blog. There are links to the various auction items. If you don't want to help her directly, there are other people affected by the flood who have lost jobs and homes.

'Till Next Time

June 2013 #writemotivation Week 3

Not much has changed except instead of just having one story screaming in my head, I have two. I blame Seleste DeLaney. It's her fault. I showed her this video by Meg Myers.


Honestly I can't get it out of my head. It's so deliciously obsessive. Anyway, I mentioned that it gave me ideas, but I hadn't really thought too much about it. Anyway, she and I started talking and next thing I know we have a story idea.

Not that she and I are writing a story together, but rather, we're kind of, sort of, maybe seeing who can write it first. My money is on her, but she's admitted that she has a LOT of stuff on her plate. So who knows. We'll see. We each have our take on the story. It'll be interesting to see what happens.

1. Try not to kill my muse My muse and I have agreed to a cease-fire.
2. Write up character stuff and whatnot for “Snapshot”, aka the Uber Plot Bunny. I need to clone myself. That is all.
3. Blog once a week. Almost missed it this week!
4. Cheer on my buddies. Monday I hit several blogs. :D
5. Try not to obsess about HJ being at Mentor Agent. Got an email from my mentor letting me know that I should be hearing from them soon. MEEEEP!

Anyway, that's it for now. Wednesday (bright and early), I have a cover reveal for Rachel O'Laughlin's book, The Coldness of Marek.

UPDATE: Forgot to link to my Pinterest board so you can see the cast and music inspiration for the book.


'Till Next Time

June #writemotivation update Week 2

ACK! I almost forgot to do this! Shame on me!

*gets bloody scourge from the blood scourge closet*

Seriously, thought, lots of stuff going on in my head. I'm starting to get a good feel for how I want Snapshot to go and even the characters. It has some serious dark stuff, but not the same or to the same degree as Hate Jacket. That kind of dark doesn't fit. Snapshot will be lighter and I hope to get some snappy interplay between my two lead characters.

But there will be drama. As a matter of fact, I actually made myself slightly ill while writing the first chapter. Not that anything was happening directly to my MC, it was more how people were acting around her. Where Hate Jacket will make your heart pound, I think Snapshot will break your heart a little.

Now for my goals.

1. Try not to kill my muse My muse and I have agreed to a cease-fire.
2. Write up character stuff and whatnot for “Snapshot”, aka the Uber Plot Bunny. Going well so far. I'm not up to a chapter a week yet, but getting there.
3. Blog once a week. Almost missed it this week!
4. Cheer on my buddies. I've tossed out some #writemotivation dino tackles and stuff, but need to hit some blogs.
5. Try not to obsess about HJ being at Mentor Agent. Struggling with this, but I've talked to a couple people about it and I'm ok for the time being.

I should probably save this gif for awesome news, but I can't resist. It's adorable.

'Till Next Time.